By Barbara Kurka

You may remember this scene from Sex and the City: Carrie Bradshaw and her friends are analyzing why a man didn’t go back to Miranda’s apartment after their first date. Berger, Carrie’s then-boyfriend, gives her friends a simple truth: “He’s just not that into you.”

So what does this now (in)famous line, which  spawned a variety of articles—even on Forbes.com—books and a movie, have to with being a manager?

Many managers get bogged down with trying to improve the performance of their staff members who aren’t doing well. A manager can become very invested in insuring she can coach the so-so performer to MAKE IT WORK.  It becomes a personal quest.  I can’t tell you the number of times I hear from a manager who’s at the end of her rope.  She outlines the many discussions she’s had about lateness, absences, job performance, or attitude. Our conversation often ends with a plaintive:  “I’ve tried to make this work, and it’s not happening.”

Let’s tweak Berger’s line to read, “He’s just not that into the job.”  You can’t force a relationship to work, and you can’t force a person to be good at his job.  You can set expectations and establish a development plan with a reasonable time frame.  You can
follow up.  You can provide coaching.  And once it becomes clear that the incumbent can’t or won’t do the job as required, you can terminate employment (consulting with HR all along the way, of course!).

Your time and your talents as a manager are valuable.  You want to spend them effectively:  encouraging and developing the employees who are and can be most productive.

So take Berger’s tip and focus on those who ARE into the job.  Management by Sex and the City?  There’s a book in there somewhere.

Barbara Kurka is Senior Vice President, Human Resources, Katz Media Group, Inc