I am in a relationship with an amazing man. He is a good and kind person. He is incredibly smart, funny and fun. It certainly does not hurt that he is hot, hot, hot! I adore him. With all of these great attributes, of course it must be smooth sailing in Relationshiptown. And yet even though, yes, I am crazy about him, sometimes he drives me completely insane. Or rather, he frequently brings out “the crazy” in me (solely reserved for rare-viewing by closest family and friends). He even makes the stupid mistake of calling me crazy at times (which enhances the crazy). But am I really crazy? Or does stupidity on his part bring out the crazy side?

Answers come in the form of a book co-written by lovers Howard J. Morris and Jenny Lee titled, Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid: The Simple Truth to a Complicated Relationship. The reader is invited to view the couple’s relationship through a series of stories told from each person’s perspective. The book is less of a “he said/she said” and more of a “he says/she reacts.”

At first, the structure is odd, mainly due to the fact that Morris has much more “page-time” than Lee. His comic stories coupled with the deep truths they reveal about men and women kept my interest throughout. I initially found Lee’s responses to be too short and at times, annoying.

There were a few instances wherein I had to force myself not to skip over her section due to intrigue over wanting to hear from Morris again. By the third chapter, I was convinced as to why Morris pushed the co-authoring idea on her; her responses are not only spot-on regarding what women think and want but act as a lovely complement to Morris’ writing.

What are the forces for unleashing the crazy/stupid in a relationship? Morris blames the following: breasts, the crazy questions women repeatedly ask men, weddings, Richard Gere (yes, Richard Gere), a woman’s un-ending search for warning signs, a woman’s high (“too high”) expectations, Sex and the City (I know it is hard but try to resist from saying, “What a stupid man!”) and a woman’s empathy. My original desire to completely disregard Morris fell away when I got to the part where he admits that men are at fault for causing the crazy in women to erupt. He exclaims, “THE STUPID CAME FIRST…Stupid can be cured. But crazy is often forever.” Even though his remark comes with a “but,” I was impressed that Morris offered up his gender as the instigators. He later clarifies that, “If a man can reduce his stupidity level in his relationship, it will then be matched concurrently with a reduction in his woman’s crazy level.” Nice save, Morris.

The book has a very hopeful tone: “If one man could be even a little less stupid and one woman a little less crazy from reading this book, wouldn’t that be an amazing thing?” I have grand plans to give it as a gift to my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day. I am sure that there is no gift he would rather receive more.

Crazy/Stupid Quotes

Hopefully you will benefit from, or at least find humor in, the following (hand-picked by a quote-loving crazy woman, for your reading pleasure):

Morris’ “Crazy” Equation:
NORMAL WOMAN + STUPID MAN = CRAZY WOMAN
NORMAL WOMAN + SMART MAN = NORMAL WOMAN
CRAZY WOMAN + SMART MAN = CRAZY WOMAN

Lee: “Is it that you don’t love me enough? Or is it that your needs always come first? Or is it that you’re just too stupid to know what I want?”
Morris: “THESE ARE MY OPTIONS? THESE ARE MY ONLY OPTIONS?”

Morris on a woman’s crazy questions for men:
“All of [the] crazy questions she’s asking are about love…one question she’s really asking: Do you love me more than everyone else?…And what’s so crazy about that? Nothing.”

Morris on a woman’s un-ending search for signs:
“Here’s the thing about warning signs: The only thing more crazy or more stupid than not heeding a warning sign may just be heeding it. What then? Wait another hundred years for the person with no signs attached? Better to be a fool for love than just a fool. And a lonely one at that. Signs can only protect you from so much.”

Lee on a woman’s un-ending search for signs:
“Women are always looking for signs, but it’s because we have a vested interest in the future of the relationship…Perhaps if men communicated their feelings more clearly, women wouldn’t be left to their own devices to figure out what’s going on.”

Lee on expectations:
“Perhaps we chicks can be a smidge irrational when it comes to our expectations for romance. But when it comes to this topic I will always be irrational and I will always be stubborn. I want to believe [in romance]. I want to care about it.”

Morris: “A woman can switch up on you and change her personality completely in a matter of seconds…If you just look hard enough every woman is knowable, if only for a moment…One needs to know not only her, but the her she is now. Not the her she was when you first met her, or even, for that matter, the her she was five minutes ago.”

Lee: “I’m not just crazy, period. I’m crazy with an asterisk…I’m crazy with emotional justification.”

Morris on Sex and the City:
“[Women are] better at loving than we are. And more loyal. Even when they give their affection to made-up characters, it’s unwavering…So while we’re waiting for something to explode, they’re having a relationship with the characters on the screen…But the point is not to understand it in our terms but to understand it in theirs…She has to do the same thing for you, of course…But women usually do and men usually don’t. And this makes women crazy. And for us not to do it makes us irredeemably stupid.”

Morris & Lee: “In any relationship you care about, you have to ‘protect the possibility of a happy ending’.”

Black and white photo of Howard and Jenny by Christa Meola