Our girlfriends or our boyfriend? This becomes a weekly dilemma many of us have to deal with and hash out. We have to plan in advance and figure out when to pencil them in to our BlackBerry calendars. And if there are hearts on the page for Friday, odds are we won’t be tagged in all the photos come Monday morning. And there will be a bunch of inside jokes we will be completely oblivious to because we were home sucking face with the boyfriend instead of dancing on tables at the bar.

In life, there comes a time when things start to change. When we’re all dealing with these same predicaments simultaneously. When we all start to couple off. Yeah, change. Most people don’t like it. Heck, I’ll admit that it scares me, too. But it’s an absolute. It’s a guarantee. Change is inevitable. But it’s how we deal with change, with the major life transitions, that really matters. (Sure, it’s corny, but it’s also true).

And truth-be-told, right now, life is changing. We’re all starting to couple off. We’re getting boyfriends, fiances, joint checking accounts and sharing one bedroom apartments. The days of luxuriating in the company of my girlfriends all weekend long and most weekday evenings is somewhat over. Or at least changing.

Now that many of my girlfriends are fully immersed in “coupled life,” I realize that things have changed. That things will, inevitably, change. And I realize even more so how important it is to maintain and nurture those relationships, those friendships, to keep up with them, foster them, even as life changes. Things were different when we were all single. Weekends and weeknights were filled with wine-buzzes, late-night talks, long walks to Pinkberry, unnecessary shopping frenzies in SoHo, ballet slipper-colored mani-pedi’s, and of course, impromptu sleepovers—all with my GIRLFRIENDS. And sometimes we still do those things. But it takes more planning, more effort, to make it happen.

As life changes, we’ve always relied on the bonds that we have with our friends to help guide us through these various transitions in life. We’d be fooling ourselves if we thought those friendships and those bonds will just continue to exist without a little bit of work, attention, and focus. It requires some effort, especially as life get busier and complicated and significant others come into the picture.

Bottom line? There’s a freedom that comes when you’re unattached to any one person. Friendships are more effortless, especially in the absence of a romantic relationship. Mostly because we just have more time. And it’s a romance, in a sense, that I’d never trade a boyfriend or fiance or husband for, but that I hope to always have in my life.

Unfortunately, many couples get it wrong. Getting into a serious relationship, moving in with your significant other—that shouldn’t put an end to late night, wine-drenched evenings, or having your single friendships. Sure, it is a bit sorrowful when that grand chapter of all being single together starts to close and life changes. At the end of the day, it really all depends on how much effort you put into the already existing friendships you have.

As close girlfriends of mine leave New York City to move closer to boyfriends and fiances, I am reminded that I need to sustain and maintain these friendships even more. Whether through weekly phone calls or emails, or even once in a while visits, I hope to continue the friendships that I have with my girlfriends. I would be seriously unhappy without a lot of girlfriends and girl-time. My love for them is different than what I have for any man, but every bit as important.

There’s no perfect solution or answer. It certainly helps when the two worlds collide. Let your friends get to know your significant other. Get to know your friends’ significant others. If you’re lucky, they will get along magnificently. When that happens, you won’t have to miss out on as much. You can still party with the girls, engage in the completely embarrassing FB pics, and then stumble home to your one bedroom apartment with your boyfriend and hope that the spooning makes the spinning room a bit more bearable.