New York City is all about sex. People getting it, people trying to get it, people who can’t get it. When that’s not happening, we’re busy writing about it. We’re busy talking about it. We’re busy reading about it. We’re busy tweeting about it. We’re busy singing about it. It’s no wonder the city never sleeps. It’s just too damn busy trying to, you know, get busy.
The very private has never been more public. Sure, there’s always been the ever-constant old-fashioned talk spread by word of mouth. But modern technology has magnified the amount of dialogue and the impact by a million-fold. The addition and influx of web logs, blogs, and online video has inexplicably transformed and redefined the boundaries between public and private. Journalists, bloggers and songwriters alike are no longer constrained by old fashioned writing conventions. The internet allows information to reach a much broader and wider audience than ever before. Inarguably, the way in which we date, talk, learn and teach is changing at a rapid pace. And as the internet and technology continue to evolve, we will inevitably and inexplicably develop new guidelines and rules as to what parts of our lives are on and off the record.
This begs the question: should talk about our private parts be left private? Has society, as a whole, become a better place now that knowledge, information and content is so easily accessible and available? Ultimately, is this fascination, this obsession, and candid discussion about sex a positive thing?
Here’s the thing. When it comes down to it, and to, well, getting down, this is the naked truth. Open dialogue, communication and talk is a positive thing. And here are some of the reasons why.
Sets It Straight
We all know that “brunch” is French for “…and then he did what?” Whether over brunch and bloody mary’s or in the privacy of our small New York apartments, we will cover every minute, inch and slurp. We dissect. We analyze. We question. We discuss. It’s not scientific but we (women especially) seem to talk about sex as a way to share information, as a way to collectively interpret what the other tribe is up to, or thinking. And through picking apart the other genders thought processes, we will be less confused and tormented. That being said, the articles we read, the songs we hear and the videos we watch only help to fuel and foster the discussions. But we’d be talking about IT regardless. That’s a fact of life as true as the birds and the bees.
Healthy sexuality grows out of acknowledging sex as a fact of life. Instead of inhibition, anxiety and shame, openly discussing our experiences helps us to embrace our sexuality as a healthy, loving expression of who we are. Talking about sex, singing about sex – it all can provide valuable insights into the ways in which we understand sexual behaviors and relationships.
Common To Have It In Common
We all have questions. Is this normal? What does this mean? Open communication and discussion can help to answer the questions that we all inevitably have. We learn through discussion. We learn what’s acceptable behavior, what to say, what not to do. There’s comfort in knowing that we’re not alone. Maybe you’re not the only one with a foot fetish. Or maybe you just want to know if it’s normal to have mood swings on your birth control. Whatever it is, it can be incredibly reassuring to find out that you’re not the only one going through whatever it is that you’re experiencing.
Society has always had a fascination with sex. However, over the centuries the fascination has gone from closed doors to a more open format. Society’s willingness to discuss and view sex in an open forum has changed dramatically. Movies seem to focus greatly on it. What used to be a kiss and fade to black is now a need to show bump and grind. Chat rooms and instant messaging have became a new form of “meeting” and “communicating” with other people. Blogs enable us to share our most personal sexual experiences with complete and utter strangers through the click of a mouse. No longer is sex a veiled and taboo subject. The degree to which sex-talk is permissible, encouraged, and even allowed is a new matter altogether. And when you really think about it, as long as people actually practice safe sex, it’s all relatively harmless.
But I guess this is just more talk from an unconstrained writer.
My experience is that friends don’t talk in any detailed way about their sexual life. They may discuss what’s in the media or gossip about someone else’s life but nothing very explicit.