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The Birth of a New Relationship

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Telling people about a new great guy in your life is somewhat like telling people you’re pregnant. You don’t want to say anything for the first month or two just in case something terrible happens.

You know what I mean? It’s true of all new relationships. You’re just going on living your life and you meet someone. That someone changes you. Changes things. And all of a sudden, things seem perfect. You feel as if you’re on top of the world but there’s this nagging thought that just won’t leave. At the back of your mind, well, you just keep waiting for it to hit the fan. It’s like you’re so cool… and yet so not cool at the same time. You’re just so excited. But you don’t want to jinx it. You don’t want to put too much pressure on it. You don’t want to get too wrapped up in it. Yet.

It’s almost as if you can’t believe that things will be continue to be great so you’re constantly on the look-out for the moment when things will, inevitably, start to go sour. This is not good. This is a bad view on life. On relationships. I’m a strong believer in the idea that your thoughts create your reality. And sometimes, you have to reprogram the way you view things so that you’re not caught in a pessimistic web of negative and all-consuming thoughts. So that you’re not constantly expecting, waiting, for the other shoe to drop.

Truth be told, I used to be fearful that the other shoe would fall. I was just all kinds of paranoid. At the same time, I was desperately trying to relax and trust and just allow myself to be happy. Desperately trying to act all cool. By the way, it wasn’t good. It wasn’t ideal.

But we learn. I learned. Because the beginning of a new relationship is electric and dizzying. And it should be. All you can think about is the awesome person in your life. And you shouldn’t be constantly worried that you’re not out of the woods yet. And you shouldn’t be constantly waiting for things to turn.

Here’s the thing. If you really like someone, and things are going well, just let them. Don’t over think it. Don’t look for red flags. Don’t panic and worry or you might lose them before anything has even got going. Take your time and stop panicking. Let the relationship take its natural course. If you are going to go out, and if the relationship is going to last, then it will. So go ahead. Jump up and down. Jump in. If you’re happy, be happy. It’s OK to be excited. That’s the whole point, isn’t it?

Now, of course, life isn’t always sugary sweet and perfect. That sure as heck doesn’t mean that we have to expect the worst. That we should plan for the worst. The most important thing? Just be grateful and thankful for what you have NOW. Try to enjoy all the moments as they happen. Because at the end of the day, worrying about something will never change the outcome. You just waste precious time wrapped up in the thought, the premeditation, and the anxiety of something bad happening. Instead use that energy toward something positive.

Focus on the positive. Bask in the joy. The excitement. The rush of a new relationship. Stay up late talking in bed with containers of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream in hand. Hit the snooze button 10 times so you can cuddle for an extra few minutes. Gush over him at brunch with all your girlfriends. It’s OK. It’s all right to just be happy and have fun. Enjoy it. Don’t wait for the other shoe to drop. Because it might not.

And if you do this… well, it just might last longer than 9 months.

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