Sitting through Promises, Promises is like watching an old movie full of racial stereotypes, and having to constantly remind yourself, “It has to be taken in the context of the times.” Based on the film The Apartment, this musical is the smarmiest thing to open on Broadway since Avenue Q. Women are willing Barbie doll toys to be played with, and when things don’t work out, they turn bitter, vindictive, and suicidal. Mad Men does 1962 and misogyny so much better.

The bright spot in all this is Sean Hayes. He will not disappoint his Will And Grace fans here. Hayes not only won an Emmy for his portrayal of flamboyantly gay actor Jack McFarland, he also honed real comedy skills, which serve him well. If there’s a laugh, he finds it, and turns it into a bigger laugh

He has real Irish charm, and the only mystery is why every woman at the Consolidated Life Company, where he ambitiously toils into the evening, isn’t dying to date this attractive guy. The opening number features dancers literally cartwheeling across his desk while he works. His mind is fixed on his unrequited love for the cafeteria lady, Fran Kubelik.

Kristin Chenoweth is incapable of giving a bad performance. She infuses Fran with just the right amount of liveliness, passion, and yearning. But this is simply not her role, not her show. The music doesn’t come anywhere near showcasing her operatically trained voice, and she has not been presented well. The costumes are particularly ill suiting. Chenoweth is extremely petite, and dressing her in a white blouse and turquoise skirt cuts her in half. The bouffant party dress she wears flares at exactly the wrong place, and makes her tiny figure appear dumpy. And the bright turquoise heels cause her feet to look huge, throwing off her proportions even more. I miss the bangs which usually cover a forehead that now looks too smooth, and I miss the apple cheeks which gave her face a pretty softness. I would hate to think that the Chenoweth currently on stage in this production is the only one that some theater goers may see. She is so much better than this, in every way. And to hear her sing more compelling Bacharach, try to catch her duet of “One Less Bell To Answer” with Matthew Morrison on Glee.

Except for a couple of hit songs, “I Say A Little Prayer” and “A House Is Not A Home,” neither of which actually work with the rest of the dialogue, the music is totally forgettable. Some of the songs, “She Likes Basketball,” for example, are downright awful. The best line I heard all evening came from my companion who said, “This show reminds us of why we don’t miss Burt Bacharach.” Thanks, I’d almost forgotten.

The numbers that do work are the title song, and “I’ll Never Fall In Love Again,” which is sung softly by Chenoweth, while seated, strumming a guitar. Hayes joins in, and the tune is given a warm, country inspired flavor. The chemistry is palpable, and the scene is lovely.

How could Fran prefer the obnoxious married executive for whom she pines? And doesn’t Tony Goldwyn ever tire of playing the same role in nearly every project? No one does the oily, seemingly clean-cut but actually villainous guy better than he, but we’ve seen it too often.

Don’t leave after the first act. If you do, you’ll miss the show stopping Katie Finneran (with Hayes, above), who brings down the house as a lecherous barfly. Tony, Tony, Tony, and I don’t mean Goldwyn.

Also excellent is theater vet Dick Latessa (middle, above), as the doctor who lives next door to Hayes’ character Chuck Baxter. The doc and his wife assume that the raucous activity of the executive key club, which they hear nightly through the wall, is actually Baxter himself having a hot sex life. Latessa perfectly conveys the vicarious thrill for the elderly neighbors, mixed with the need for a good night’s sleep.

This is an expensive show, with a big cast, which I appreciate. I really like seeing the money that went into the onstage Christmas Trees, but I don’t understand why this production didn’t open more appropriately for the Fall Theater Season. The performers are top rate, but in the case of Kristin Chenoweth, in the wrong show. The music is familiar, but not good. This show Promises, Promises us a lot, but in the end, just doesn’t really deliver.

Promises, Promises
The Broadway Theatre
1681 Broadway
212-239-6200
telecharge.com

Photos by Joan Marcus

Michall Jeffers is an accomplished Cultural Journalist. She writes extensively, both in print and online. Her eponymous cable TV show is syndicated throughout the tri-state area, and features celebrity interviews, reviews, and commentary. She is a voting member of Drama Desk, Outer Critics Circle, American Theatre Critics Association, International Association of Theatre Critics, Dance Critics Association, and National Book Critics Circle. michalljeffers@verizon.net. michalljeffers.com