For Pete’s sake, take the kids. Bye Bye Birdie is a bonafide wholesome banana split of a musical for the entire family. It’s also just plain good fun for adults, too. Yes, you’ve seen it done at the local high school, and summer camp, and in countless little theater productions around the country; but the Broadway production is really professional, big and flashy, and you can see the money on the stage. Very cool!

The story revolves around the drafting of swivel-hipped, beer slugging teenage idol Conrad Birdie, who’s about to be inducted into the army. Loosely based on the Elvis Presley event, for us more mature members of the audience, it produces a warm glow of nostalgia. For much of the younger crowd, the impact is pretty much “huh?” And just try explaining the appeal of Ed Sullivan—”Well, he didn’t sing or dance or anything, he introduced the acts and at the end of the show, he wished everyone a ‘Merry Christmas’…in July.” Such current lightweights as Ryan Seacrest, Jeff Probst, and the super-oily Chris Harrison are nowhere near his host league.

Birdie, as played by Nolan Gerard Funk, is much more The Fabulous Fabian than Elvis. There’s not a whiff of fried peanut butter and banana sandwich in the air, but rather a much more American Idol vibe. His romp with the local Sweet Apple, Ohio kids, all of whom are dressed in crayon colored garb, is much less creepy than it might be. Conrad is so obviously just a big kid himself. The costuming of the show really adds to the atmosphere of the late 1950′s; if the red jacket Birdie wears isn’t a tip of the hat to James Dean, don’t tell me.

The essence of the plot concerns the prolonged unsatisfactory courtship of a secretary and her boss, the workaholic manager who is tied to the singer. As the reluctant bridegroom, Albert Peterson, John Stamos really only comes to life at the curtain call. He enters to applause and cheers, but doesn’t respond with a rousing performance. And he bares a distracting resemblance to a well respected news commentator. This isn’t really a problem for most of the play, but do you really want to see George Stephanopoulos jump on a table and sing “Put On A Happy Face” to a gaggle of teenage girls?

There’s zero chemistry on stage between Stamos and Gina Gershon, who definitely makes an impression as Rose Alvarez. Her singing voice wavers, but she brings a rare shot of true va-va-voom to the stage in her tight dresses, and she dazzles with a brief glimpse of her spectacularly well filled out bustier. When I asked a goggle-eyed gentleman whether her vocal abilities were Broadway quality, he answered quite rightly, “Who cares?”

As a publicity stunt guaranteed to earn Albert enough money to finally marry long suffering Rose, Birdie will plant a smooch on lucky Kim MacAfee, and sing “One Last Kiss,” destined to become a blockbuster hit. Allie Trim brings to the role of Kim exactly the right amount of innocence and yearning to be grown up. When she warbles “How Lovely To Be A Woman,” she is funny and touching, an angelic Soprano who could melt even the most diehard cynic.

Kim’s mom and dad are a mixed bag. Mrs. MacAfee, Broadway staple Dee Hoty in an over sprayed blonde wig, performs ably, and is a dead ringer for Pat Nixon. The brilliant Bill Irwin takes a huge chance here, playing Harry MacAfee as an all out clown, and has the guts to fail big. His goofy style makes the already ridiculous father figure read like a turtle on speed. It’s not quite awful enough for Irwin’s MacArthur Genius Grant to be revoked, but it does prove once and for all that you can’t out-weird Paul Lynde.

Thank God for Jane Houdyshell, who is no less than perfect as Mae Peterson, the mother from Hell. Wrapping her huge fur coat around her like a blanket against the cold winds of an unjust world, we believe she believes her undying devotion to her “sonny boy” gives her the right to load on the “It’s good enough for a mother” guilt, and to protect Albert from ever growing a pair. As she does in every production in which she appears, Hi-Octane Jane steals the show. Her constant hilarious put downs of the totally hot Gershon give both actresses the impetus to make “Spanish Rose” an over the top show stopper. We can clearly imagine the Thanksgiving dinners in years to come.

Incidentally, my companion for this show is a friend of Puerto Rican heritage. I asked her point blank if she found offensive the obvious Hispanic stereotyping in the play. She assured me she didn’t, but parents may want to discuss the issue with their children, and use it as a jumping off point to explore the ignorant nature of bigotry.

Bye Bye Birdie is scheduled to close January 10, 2010, but this date could certainly be extended, with a change of venue if necessary. I’d like to propose that this is a perfect vehicle for Miley Cyrus to use to make her Broadway debut, and that several other young stars would bring in the audience needed to earn the ticket dollars needed to make theater succeed these days. It’s refreshing to see teenagers on stage who actually look like kids, not forty year old gypsies. Brynn Williams is outstanding as Ursula, and all the other ensemble cast members bring an energy and enthusiasm to the Broadway stage which can clearly inspire youngsters to make The Great White Way a cool destination. This is my “Honestly Sincere” hope for the future of this refurbished classic.

Bye Bye Birdie
Roundabout Theatre Company
Henry Miller’s Theatre, 124 West 43rd Street
212-239-6200
Tickets $86.50-$136.50
www.byebyebirdieonbroadway.com
Newly renovated theater, comfortable seats, plenty of stalls in the well tended ladies’ room.

Photos by Joan Marcus.