By Pat Fortunato

I admit it. I can’t deny it. I’m hooked on Gossip Girl.

How did a “girl” like me, long (long) out of high school, not from the upper crust of the Upper East Side, not, in fact, like anyone on this hot series (except that I, too, drink martinis), become addicted?

I have an excuse, sort of. All junkies do. My brother, Ron, is the director of photography and I watch everything he does. (I relate because I’m related?) He does a lot of good stuff: Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead was his last feature. But this excuse will only get me so far. It’s why I had to watch the first episode, to check out the photography (outstanding, as usual), and to have something nice to say at the next family dinner.

But let’s face it, it’s not a valid reason for a near obsession with Chuck and Chace. No wait! That’s Chuck and Nate — the actors playing the characters are Ed Westwick and Chace Crawford. In real life (it’s so hard to keep the two separate), Ed and Chace live together. That is, they’re roommates, just two wild and crazy guys sharing a pad in the Big Apple. On the show, they’re just schoolmates. I also follow the adventures of Serena (Blake Lively) and Dan (Penn Badgley), who are, in fact, an item.

Could you make up these names: Westwick, Crawford, Badgley and Lively?
Could they be any more Wasp? Could the series be any more unreal?

As a former Sex and the City addict (I am in rehab), I’m well aware that reality has absolutely nothing to do with it. The women on that show had more men in one season than populate the state of Idaho, and most of the guys were pretty hot. And talk about martinis (or cosmos): there is no way in hell that those women could drink that much and stay slim, employed and out of AA. Let’s not even get into the clothes thing. Even if they could afford the thousands of dollars of designer outfits, where in the world would they store all that stuff? In a New York apartment? I think not. (Please see my article: I’ve Lost It: AKA Law & Disorder. Really, please see it. I like that piece a lot.)

Anyway, Gossip Girl isn’t much more unreal than that. Just a bunch of teenagers with better wardrobes than Anyone On Earth, who swill martinis at the Palace and drive in limos, and whose parents are in love with the parents of other characters. Yes, I meant to say that. Did you miss that story line? Better catch up.

And I haven’t even mentioned the adorable brother who’s gay. And who complained that his bedroom is under his mother’s and she should remember that the next time she’s entertaining the father of his sister’s boyfriend.

The mother (also of Serena), Lillian van der Woodsen,  is played by Kelly Rutherford, and the father of the daughter’s boyfriend, Rufus Humphrey, is played by Mathew Settle. Rufus: did that name come back in style while I was busy watching SINC and L&O? Jenny, Rufus’ daughter and the world’s first 15-year old high school dropout overnight success fashion designer, is played by Taylor Momsen. And of course, there’s the queen bee to out-royal all hives everywhere, Blair Waldorf. How’s that for a name! She’s in love, more or less, with Chuck, who’s in love with his wardrobe. The actress playing her is Leighton Meester.

Have these people never heard the word “ethnic?”

Well, the actor who plays the adorable brother does have an Italian last name, Paolo, but also a Waspy first name, Connor. Go figure. On Gossip Girl, he’s Eric van der Woodsen. Excuse me! And then there is an actress named Jessica Szohr, but she’s supposed to be from the other side of the tracks/river. She actually looks ethnic but has the name Vanessa Abrams on the show.  Sigh. Oh, she and the “poor” family (Rufus, Dan, and Jenny) live in a loft in Brooklyn you’d kill for, although compared to the other locations, it is slumming. Everyone else is very, very rich, and absolutely everyone is healthy and gorgeous, with great fashion sense.

Is this stuff irresistible or what? Do you forgive me for being hooked?

Pre-show buzz on the next episode — to be aired on February 2 — is high (85 percent of fans surveyed said they are very excited about it), and with a title like “Carnal Knowledge,” you know it will be hot.

Coming soon: Gotham Girl visits the Gossip Girl Set. Stay tuned.

You know you love me,
XOXO
Gotham Girl

Visit me at my http://www.i-cant-believe-im-not-bitter.com