Your best friend asks you to be in the wedding party. What an honor, right? As Kristen Wiig discovers in the new film about these ladies in waiting, being a bridesmaid is a thankless, expensive chore. Don’t believe the lies perpetrated by all those Bridezillas. Here we bust the 10 most popular myths.
“The groomsmen are hot! You’ll meet the man of your dreams, maybe your future husband.”
Half of the groomsmen will be married, the rest will resemble gnomes. And 15 minutes after the reception starts, they will all be on their way to starring in Hangover 3.
“It will mean sooo much to me to have you there on my special day.”
The only person the bride cares about on her special day is the bride. Even the groom comes in a distant second. Any conversations you have will concern her—how beautiful her gown is, how great her hair looks, etc. etc.
“I know the dress is expensive, but you will find so many ways to wear it again.”
Yes, if you plan to go to a costume party dressed as a cupcake.
“I know you’ll want to help with the bridal shower. Don’t worry my sister is doing it and she’s very good at managing budgets.”
Yes, for the U.S. Government. Get ready to write that blank check.
“It’s a destination wedding! I know you’ve always wanted to go to______.”
Yes, you’ve been dying to use your vacation budget (or frequent flyer miles) to go off to some remote island jungle. Pack that sunblock and insecticide.
“Your hair always looks so great! I know the hairdresser I’ve booked will make it look even better.”
So what if you look like a Hollywood hooker? Maybe you can write off that $200 as a business expense.
“Even though I’m getting married, we’ll still spend time together.”
She’ll be able to squeeze you in every other Tuesday for coffee, if her husband is out of town.
“I can’t wait til you get married and I can be in your wedding.”
Okay, now she’s jinxed it for sure. You’re doomed to be always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Make room in that closet.