I first attended the wedding of Anthony Nunzio and Valentina Vitale on August 15, 1988, the year the show opened. The first time around, the wedding was ceremonial and substantial. The guests included the happy couple’s quirky grandparents and the hired help was not just a photographer but a videographer and an entire family of catering staff. The ceremony took place in a Christopher Street church in front of God and country and the reception, at Vinnie Black’s Coliseum on Waverly Place, was a real hoot. The decorations and atmosphere had just the right combination of cheesiness and authenticity. The guests were all humiliated and interacted with equally and the wedding dinner, though not quite a feast, was satisfying and topped off with an actual piece of sugary, white wedding cake. Generally speaking, even with the over-exaggeration of the Italian-American matrimonial ritual, the production was a lot more believable and genuine.

I’m not sure if it’s the economic times or just a lack of attention to detail, but the current production (after years of incarnations and celebrity), now located at Sweet Caroline’s on West 45th Street, is thinly produced and flat. Many of the characters in the original production have been cut as well as major portions of dialogue explaining who some of the personalities are (the bride’s ex-beau and the groom’s ex-gal, for example). People show up and you aren’t quite sure who they are or why they’re around. I knew who they were because I’d had the heads up from 1988 but some of the other guests at my table—first timers—had no idea what was going on.

That said, the actors do the best they can with what they’re given and there’s no question of the cast’s ability and potential. Most are equipped with exceptional improvisational skills and stay in character no matter how hard one may try to nudge them out. It’s shameful the material these talented actors (who should be showcased and celebrated) have to make do with. I’d name names but unlike past productions, there is no program crediting the cast for their hard work. The producer doesn’t think it’s necessary to promote the cast, production crew or band. The wedding, which begins cohesively but degenerates over the course of the evening with a drunken priest, a striptease by the bride and numerous fights ends in a Felliniesque nightmare of chaos and confusion with an abrupt departure of bride and groom. We’re left with a roomful of clichés and then, nothing. Lights on.

The venue—Sweet Caroline’s—is another major problem with its inept and misinformed wait staff. Tickets are advertised at two price points: general admission tickets at $87 (plus $6.95 service charges and tax per ticket) and VIP tickets at $125 (plus $7.75 service charges and tax per ticket), a hefty investment either way considering what you’re getting for the price. (Woman Around Town and a guest were comped for the VIP tickets). Dinner includes Champagne, bread, salad, pasta and wedding cake.

The VIP ticket has the additional benefit of “upfront seating” (although the general ticket holders were more “upfront” than the VIP ticket holders who were seated in the middle), an antipasto appetizer, unlimited Champagne and some gelato with wedding cake for dessert. At my VIP table, there was no difference in the meal with the exception of the antipasto. Even so, one of the cast members sat at our table and put his hands in the antipasto plate rendering it inedible. Also, no gelato and the “wedding cake” was nothing more than a one-inch cube of dry yellow cake stabbed with a fork (not even a schmear of that festive white wedding frosting which makes a wedding cake so yummy). To top it off, we were presented with a check for extra glasses of Champagne (no beverages are included, by the way, not even pitchers of tap water). We informed our bungling waitress of the error but she gave us the bill anyway. When we mentioned it to Ryan, the cranky production manager, he gave us plenty of attitude and begrudgingly, offered to refund the Champagne bill (though he made it so difficult, in the end we gave up and left having paid the bill). He told us the production has only been at Sweet Caroline’s for two months or so, therefore the staff isn’t quite up to date on the differences in ticket categories. So just to make sure I hadn’t been confused, the next day I called the ticket line advertised on the show’s postcard and confirmed the different options.

While there is something fun about this production—at least the idea of it—the current execution is sloppy and not up to the originality and fun of the show’s first years. Nancy Cassaro, the show’s creator and the very first Tina, along with the Artificial Intelligence Comedy Troupe, brought real life to the production for many years. Sadly, this just isn’t what it used to be or what it could be. For a better glimpse into the intricacies of an Italian wedding circa 1989, go out and rent True Love directed by Nancy Savoca, starring Annabella Sciorra and Ron Eldard.

My advice to anyone who has $250 to spare for a night on the town—go see a real Broadway show like Jersey Boys (where tickets start at $62) and treat yourself to a real dinner at one of the many fabulous theatre district restaurants. It’ll be tastier and more satisfying, all around, for sure.