Divorce In The First Year: Should You Give Up Or Move On?
Life can throw at us many curveballs, yet for many of us, we do not see these incidents coming. For that reason, it should come as no surprise that many people get married to the ‘perfect’ person. Within a few months of marriage, though, doubts appear. Have they made the right choice? Is this person really mister/missus ‘right’?
As a female in any marriage, you might not be sure about when you should make your decision. After all, it says it on the day – ‘til death does us part. Through sickness and health. You are supposed to be in this for the long haul. Should you give up on a marriage in the first year if you feel like it is simply not right? Many would say no. They would say that you stick it out and work through the reverse-honeymoon period. However, we would disagree.
For many, divorce is something that comes up as a thought when things are simply not going well. The same goes for a normal relationship – if you are unhappy, you think about leaving. It’s the same for a job, a social event, or anything else. Yet, in society, leaving a marriage so soon is seen as solipsistic, reckless even. Is it?
It does not have to be. If you know, then you know. If you feel like you have made a big mistake and that there is both no chemistry and no cohesion, you should not stick around. For any woman feeling unhappy or unsatisfied in a marriage, of course, it makes sense to speak it out first. But what if words elicit no real, meaningful change?
Do Not Hang Around For The Sake Of Being Seen As Socially Correct
Many of us see the idea of having a divorce on our ‘relationship CV’ in the same way as a sports coach would see a sacking. It is a black mark, one that might put a future person off you. However, if you enter into a marriage, it can be easy to get swept up in the emotion of it all. The drama, the chaos, the fun. Yet when all of that is gone, and you are simply left with what you are two – people in a relationship – is it enough?
Often, when a marriage is settled, we start to see attributes of our partner that were not quite so visible. Little habits and personality traits come to the fore. When that happens, by all means, talk it out and try to find a reliable solution for you both. Do not give up right away.
If you find that your marriage has been blinded by the drama of the wedding itself, though, do not hang around. If you notice a lack of compatibility, an inability for both sides to see one another in a positive light, do not wait. Things are unlikely to change – and nor should you simply warp your expectations of a relationship because you chose to get married.
Marriage is a choice. So is divorce. If your choice is that your marriage is simply not going to be happy, that there are simply too many divides in your personalities, then do not hang around. And most importantly, do not allow yourself to be changed to simply fit the standard expected.
Instead, contact a Corte Madera divorce lawyer like Kaspar & Lugay LLP, or a local professional, and speak with them about your situation. Divorce attorneys understand better than most the reality of your case. So talk with clarity and honesty, and get a professional opinion from someone who deals with divorce for a living.
Do not settle. Do not sit back and accept your lot. Marriages do not have to last forever – not if they are not right for either party.
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