How Are You – Really?

Today a friend told me, “My kids never ask me, ‘how are you?’” This question, these words, are both simple and powerful.

Before the pandemic, I didn’t take it personally if I didn’t hear from a friend. Life happens. We’re all busy. I always knew my friends and family were a call away if I needed them.

Let’s be honest. We’re almost a year into the pandemic, and we’re all caught up in our own lives and in our own heads. People are more emotionally disconnected than ever. It’s one thing to socially distance physically, but it’s another thing entirely to socially distance emotionally. I feel it happening more and more every day, and it’s sad.

We’re all tired of what’s become our new normal. I feel it, too, especially in the winter. Personally, COVID-19 forced me to slow down. It provided me with more “me” time, more time alone with my thoughts. While I enjoyed it in the beginning, after 12 months I’m ready to go back to my pre-pandemic life. I’m a true extrovert. I love big family dinners, going out with my girlfriends, and romantic getaways with my fiancé. I thrive when I’m social. I want it all back, and more.

Talking with my friend got me to thinking. We’re all in a delicate state emotionally right now. We can all use a little more kindness, for ourselves and to extend to others.

When you talk to your friends and family, ask one simple question: “How are you doing? If the answer is, “fine,” ask again. “Really, how are you doing?”

Then really listen, and go from there.

Lisa Bien is a motivational speaker and coach whose column appears twice a month on Woman Around Town. For more information on Lisa, go to her website.

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