The Ultimate Move: One Year Later…A Benediction
A year ago a moving van disgorged all our “downsized” possessions into our freshly refurbished retirement cottage. To say it was a relief is accurate. To say it was easy is nonsense. Our heartstrings were plucked. When the house was totally empty, without even a curtain rod or a dust bunny, I shut the front door, leaned into it, and kissed our beloved house that we designed and built a fond goodbye. Between exhaustion and relief of scarcely finishing in time for the 2 p.m. closing, I refused to let any tears fall. I knew my husband and I had made the right decision. The new owners would love our home.
We are happy in our new digs and have adjusted successfully to close community living. Having moved over a dozen times during our sixty years of marriage, we are officially seasoned to the challenges of change… unlike many fellow residents. Some thoughts to share about experiencing a life-altering move.
Much is being written about downsizing. The other day I read an article in the Wall Street Journal about Baby Boomers trending to smaller homes, a plus 55 community or a retirement facility. More and more such communities are sprouting up, in all areas of the country. For several decades, we associated Florida or Arizona as states older folks chose for their later years. Otherwise, adult children cared for elderly parents, or there were nursing homes for the infirm. Now, however, hundreds of facilities are being built in cities all over the country. There are four in a three-mile radius of where we live in Virginia.
Twelve months gives a couple ample time to adjust and to reflect. Let’s review the pluses and minuses of our particular move. To be perfectly honest, my hubby and I have found almost zero negatives….and certainly none attributed to the fine staff that manages our community. We are delighted. We could not ask for anything better, nor nicer people to help us nor quicker service when something goes askew. Just yesterday we awoke to a puddle in front of our kitchen sink. A broken water gasket. An 8 a.m. call resulted in a prompt visit from the plumber on weekend duty! Wow.
The esthetics of our “community” are lovely. Housing 475 residents in either apartments or cottages affords everyone a wooded ambience, charming walking areas, manicured yards, lovely landscaping, indoor swimming pool, workout center, exercise and craft classes, a library, three different dining areas, take -out suppers (if desired), excellent medical care, and frequent opportunities to enjoy day trips as well as entertainment with competent visiting speakers. Who could want more? As is human nature some people do fuss and fume. It is anathema to hear complaints, especially when they are levied at wait staff members, or those who work like mad to juggle all the personalities of older people. So unnecessary! I immediately think of those folks we know who could not consider moving here for financial reasons. Ours is a “High Class Problem!”
A year has taught us to ignore the negatives. “C’est la vie.” We are grateful to be on one floor, with attic storage space. I love it that if we go outside to pull weeds, there is only a small patch to tend. I also love it that my nearly sixty years of keeping a house tidy and clean are not an all day job. I am thrilled to welcome Amber each Friday at 12:45. She keeps us spic and span, while doing it with a happy face. We are comforted to know that if one of us were to experience a fall and need help all we would do is pull a cord strategically placed in each room. Right now that doesn’t seem essential, but one never knows. We are, after all, Sincerely Seniors, and considered by some to be well along into the Geriatric Generation. (“Not I, said the little red hen!”)
I have learned, FINALLY, not to hop onto my soap box when talking to non-resident peer friends who are still coping with their big homes. I have learned that no one WANTS to hear me preach the PLUSES of downsizing and moving into a nearly carefree environment. And I HOPE I can continue to realize that each of us moves at our own pace; each of us has the freedom to live as we choose; and that choices are elective, rather than automatic. I have learned not to play evangelist!
Practicing a modicum of denial about age is healthy. It is possible to be aware of one’s advancing years, but everyone is blessed with a choice as how to manage them. I can’t control the number, but I can control my attitude. Simple fact of life. In the past 12 months my husband and I have met people on both ends of the spectrum: those who rejoice that they have made the move here for health reasons or so that “my children do not have to worry about me as I get older.” Then there are those few who simply cannot or will not let go of having downsized, sold their beloved homes, and parted with so many possessions. And sadly, there are even a few who are so used to being in charge of their own lives that they hate rules, and think leash laws, parking regulations apply to others rather than to themselves.
In our country we constantly hear about diversity. It is a buzz word and a reality. But it has dawned on me that diversity applies to each one of us. Skin color, race, ethnic background are only some of the differences. Each of us is a unique person, with separate DNA’s, separate histories, and separate life experiences. It takes ALL kinds of people to make a community. Understand that fact, and lights shine. I am reminded of my darling mother’s words, “No one is perfect except me and thee, and I am not so sure about thee!” I thank the good Lord for every good day on this earth in our new home. AMEN.
Joy Nevin is the author of Joy of Retirement – Live, Love, and Learn. Click to buy on Amazon.
Top photo: Bigstock
