What’s your favorite month? Those who love the holidays are apt to name November or December. Besides all the wonderful decorations, there’s food and festive gatherings. And while autumn morphs into winter, the two months rarely deliver truly harsh weather. And if December brings a snowstorm or two, then we are excited about actually seeing a white Christmas, “Dashing Through the Snow,” and all that.
Those who enjoy warm weather would probably choose one of the summer months – June, July, or, for people who really love hot weather, August. Days are more casual. We can get away with wearing sandals to the office and enjoy afternoons at the beach or the pool. Many of us get Fridays off for long weekends to spend in the Hamptons or on the Maryland shore. The pace is slower, days longer, and restaurants have outside dining where we can linger over a gin and tonic and relax.
Ask someone which month they hate the most and the first two often turn up. Let’s face it, January is always a downer after all the holiday excitement. All the beautiful clothes and jewelry that we lusted after in December, are now on sale and somehow look wrinkled, tarnished, and less appealing.
While February has Valentine’s Day, that holiday is the single person’s nightmare. And, in fact, many who are married or have a significant other hate it, too. Being forced to be romantic puts too much pressure on anyone who is in a relationship. And those who aren’t can’t help but be depressed. Hearts and flowers? Forget it.
My most unfavorite month, however, is March, that “comes in like a lion, goes out like a lamb.” Where did that saying come from? The Paris Review credits Thomas Fuller’s 1732 compendium, Gnomologia: Adagies and Proverbs; Wise Sentences and Witty Sayings, Ancient and Modern, Foreign and British. No matter who characterized March that way, the clever saying doesn’t make up for the fact that it is the month I hate the most. Ten reasons why:
1. The very name is an order – March. Think about it. No other month issues a directive telling us what to do. And when I think of March, I think of being forced to toe the line, stand up straight, keep moving forward, etc. March was, in fact, named after Mars, the Roman god of war as it was the month in which the military campaigning season got under way after winter. Rather than march, for me the month is a 31 day slog.
2. We have to spring forward. Only a few days into daylight savings time and I am already in a bad mood. No amount of coffee can wake me up in the morning and I’m watching way too much late night TV. Statistics show that daylight savings time brings with it more auto accidents from sleep deprived drivers. So why do we keep doing it?
3. I never know what to wear. I’m now tired of my winter clothes, but it’s not warm enough to switch my closet to cottons, linens, and silks. So I rely on my in between outfits and tire of them quickly.
4. Nor’easters. We’ve had at least three so far on the East Coast and the month is only half over. March not only came in like a lion this year, it’s sticking around to stalk us.
5. We enter a film dead zone. The Oscars are over, holiday films are now on demand, and it’s a long time before summer blockbusters. March is when the film studios dump productions that are marginal, making going to the movies something we avoid.
6. March Madness. OK, I’ll take heat for this one, but all this frenzy over college basketball is way overdone and has no purpose other than to keep Vegas happy. I’ll wait for baseball, thank you.
7. There are no memorable songs written about March. April probably has the market cornered on this one – “April Love,” “April in Paris,” “April Showers,” etc., but other months turn up in song lyrics. “See you in September…” “June is bustin’ out all over…” “August, moon, where are you?” March? Forget it!
8. March 15 is the Ides of March, a fated day if ever there was one, thanks to Shakespeare. We’ll just stay home, thanks.
9. March always wreaks havoc on our diets with St. Patrick’s Day and Easter.
10. On March 21, we can celebrate the 12th anniversary of Twitter, thanks to founder Jack Dorsey. Not going to touch this one.
Top photo: Bigstock.