I had been shopping at Whole Foods in Marlton, New Jersey for years and buying a scrumptious marinade/barbeque sauce I used on chicken that I may say attributed to a proposal from my now husband. He raved about my chicken to our kids and our friends and never tired of it.
After moving to Naples, Florida, I realize I hadn’t made my sumptuous chicken for some time. So, I went to the Whole Foods here, and after scouring the isles, up and down three times, desperately searching for my husband’s favorite sauce, I noticed two female employees at the end of an isle who appeared to be taking inventory. I walked up to the first woman and asked her, where can I find, Bone Suckin’ Sauce? She looked up from her calculator and glared at me, and she literally took a step back. She looked stunned and was speechless! She finally said, while still glaring, “What?”
I said, becoming grossly uncomfortable, “I’m looking for Bone Suckin’ Sauce and I looked where you have barbeque sauce and marinades and can’t find it.” She is still staring at me, trying to size me up. It was all over her face. Was I some pervert?
Now, I feel my face getting red. WTH? What is she thinking? Now, she takes a few steps to her left, and whispers to the other female employee, #2, “she’s asking for Bone Suckin’ Sauce.” I could hear this other woman say, “WHAT?” She repeated it and now #2 spun around and looked me up and down with sheer disgust! Disgust!
My face now feels hot and burning with embarrassment, but although mortified, damn, I am going to stand my ground. I say, with confidence, “I have been buying Bone Suckin’ Sauce for years at Whole Foods in New Jersey and maybe you are out of it. You couldn’t possibly miss it on your shelf as it is spelled out quite largely across the label of the jar.”
I could see they were both trying to figure out if someone who looks like me, an elderly well-dressed professional woman, could be perverted. The #2 woman takes out her phone, still sizing me up and down, and punches in Bone Suckin’ Sauce. There it was! She shows the first woman the photo of the jar. I get the feeling they arre reluctantly dismissing the fact that I am not soliciting! She then says, “we don’t have it in this store and I’ve never seen it in this store,” as though she was referring to an obscene sex toy! She closed with, “you have to order it online,” and turned her back on me.
I left the store, feeling humiliated, as though I had been exposed in some illicit act. However, by the time I returned home, I saw the humor in it.
Have you ever left an encounter where you wish you could have responded with the clever words that come to mind after the fact? I only wish I was quick enough to say to these women, lighten up girls! I’m not soliciting for oral sex! I just want to make my husband’s favorite chicken!
Top photo: Bigstock
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