Marriage is a ‘journey of two’ that has its ups and downs. Success comes from knowing how to take the good and the bad. Below are ten secrets to having a successful marriage.
1. In as much you should strive to be happy, happiness is not the most crucial thing in a marriage. It comes and goes, but most of all, it is something you work on. Couples should intentionally engage in things that bring back happiness in their lives, individually and as a couple.
2. Be there, though you also should find time alone for some soul searching; you should be there when things are tough, and the two of you are on opposite sides of things not knowing what to do. Time has a way of healing things, sorting things out and presenting opportunities to overcomes every challenge in the marriage.
3. Do what is expected of you and things will be okay, you are always bound to get the same results. Learn to approach each problem different since one way of doing things may not be an answer for every other issue. A minor change in the attitude, perceptions, and approach to problems can make a huge difference.
4. Keep your attitude in check, have the right behaviour when dealing with your spouse. Align your attitude with positive feelings and actions.
5. Have the right mindset towards your marriage. How the two of you think about each other, and your beliefs about the marriage affect how you perceive your relationship. Your mindset influences your expectations and how you act toward your spouse.
6. The grass always will be greenest where it is watered. Most couples will overlook such values by seeking happiness in other things or people when they are not happy in their marriage. Not investing their energies into making themselves pleased with each other sullies the situation.
7. Change starts with self. Trying to change your spouse is never the right move; it can turn futile and is somewhat impossible. The best approach is to understand the other person and know that you can only change yourself to better the marriage. If you need help with this you can always get professional help – it can really aid you on this path and doesn’t cost as much as you’d think.
8. Love; don’t just show it, say it every day. Life has a way of wearing away the good times in life and marriages. As such, happiness will be relative and fluctuate based on the couple’s commitment to each other. Always remember the marriage vows, ‘for better or worse, the good and the bad times.’
9. When things flare up, the battles you will have in the marriage will often start between your ears. Hold grudges and continuously finding a reason to bring up the past never helps. Nobody is perfect in any marriage; you should strive to see the imperfections in the other and find a way to understand them.
10. A bit of criticism or crisis can at times be the mortar that bounds the marriage. In as much as the storm may seem scary and overbearing, the trick is to ride it out, to keep going while hoping for the clouds to break and the sun to shine.
There you have it; it is not that you will always have happiness in your marriage, but often success will come out of great work and, sometimes, pain.
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